DISCLAIMER: The following is not true...just a figment of my bizarre imagination! I was inspired when thinking of Gremyachinsk like being thrown into a fairytale...
Once upon a time, in Gremyachinsk,
There was an old witch who would jinx
All travellers arriving by bus
(It very nearly happened to us!)
She'd wait in her little wooden home
Until the said travellers would roam
Past her house, and in exclamation
Cry 'Oh, look! Tourist Information!'
(The smart witch had put up a sign
with opening hours 5 'till 9)
So, dumb travellers would stumble in
And just see the witch's wicked grin
Which slowly became a dreadful laugh-
The travelers could just say 'Arf!'
You may have heard that on Lake Baikal
They have a special kind of mammal
Called 'nerpa', or freshwater seals,
One can probably get good deals
To see nerpa- but reader, beware
of WHO is the object of your stare!
It could be somebody you once met
Sitting by you on a jumbo jet,
Or that know-it-all pain-in-the-neck
You avoided on that mountain trek!
How did we escape? I heard you ask,
It was not a very simple task.
I nearly fell in the trap-
But Patrick is not such a sap!
We walked into the witch's hut,
I went to grab a leaflet, BUT
Patrick said 'Something's fishy in here,
Let's go and fnd somewhere with a beer.'
I never found out how he knew-
What had given him a clue?
The witch wore a vey nice uniform,
A white shirt, blue skirt- you know, the norm,
Blonde hair, short fringe and a stunning face-
In Russia, this is not out of place.
But when we turned, the witch shouted 'NO!
I CANNOT allow you both to go!'
(The witch was evil, as you can tell,
But she spoke English extremely well;
She knew good Tourist Informations
Spoke languages from many nations.)
The witch came close, and I could have cried-
Then two more travellers came inside.
We took our chance, and we ran staight out,
Ignoring the witch's angry shout.
I kept running, but Patick said 'Wait!
I want to see the travellers' fate!'
So we crept back under the window,
And peeked to find what we could know.
We heard the witch say to the tourist:
'Pick up a leaflet dear, I insist!'
One girl did, and passed it to her friend-
Then they both seemed to go oud the bend!
Clapping their hands and turning dark grey,
While that cruel wtich cackled away.
Five seconds- they were tourists no more,
They were NERPA, sliding on the floor!
The witch grabbed both of them by the tail,
Staying strong, though they began to flail,
And dragged them into the next room,
Ready to face their impendng doom.
I hope those nerpa are in the lake,
Fo the other option makes me shake.
From this twisted tale, unravel
A warning for you who enjoy travel-
When first entering a brand new place,
Trust your gut, don't rush, keep a calm pace,
And when in a new situation-
Beware of Tourist Information.
Once upon a time, in Gremyachinsk,
There was an old witch who would jinx
All travellers arriving by bus
(It very nearly happened to us!)
She'd wait in her little wooden home
Until the said travellers would roam
Past her house, and in exclamation
Cry 'Oh, look! Tourist Information!'
(The smart witch had put up a sign
with opening hours 5 'till 9)
So, dumb travellers would stumble in
And just see the witch's wicked grin
Which slowly became a dreadful laugh-
The travelers could just say 'Arf!'
You may have heard that on Lake Baikal
They have a special kind of mammal
Called 'nerpa', or freshwater seals,
One can probably get good deals
To see nerpa- but reader, beware
of WHO is the object of your stare!
It could be somebody you once met
Sitting by you on a jumbo jet,
Or that know-it-all pain-in-the-neck
You avoided on that mountain trek!
How did we escape? I heard you ask,
It was not a very simple task.
I nearly fell in the trap-
But Patrick is not such a sap!
We walked into the witch's hut,
I went to grab a leaflet, BUT
Patrick said 'Something's fishy in here,
Let's go and fnd somewhere with a beer.'
I never found out how he knew-
What had given him a clue?
The witch wore a vey nice uniform,
A white shirt, blue skirt- you know, the norm,
Blonde hair, short fringe and a stunning face-
In Russia, this is not out of place.
But when we turned, the witch shouted 'NO!
I CANNOT allow you both to go!'
(The witch was evil, as you can tell,
But she spoke English extremely well;
She knew good Tourist Informations
Spoke languages from many nations.)
The witch came close, and I could have cried-
Then two more travellers came inside.
We took our chance, and we ran staight out,
Ignoring the witch's angry shout.
I kept running, but Patick said 'Wait!
I want to see the travellers' fate!'
So we crept back under the window,
And peeked to find what we could know.
We heard the witch say to the tourist:
'Pick up a leaflet dear, I insist!'
One girl did, and passed it to her friend-
Then they both seemed to go oud the bend!
Clapping their hands and turning dark grey,
While that cruel wtich cackled away.
Five seconds- they were tourists no more,
They were NERPA, sliding on the floor!
The witch grabbed both of them by the tail,
Staying strong, though they began to flail,
And dragged them into the next room,
Ready to face their impendng doom.
I hope those nerpa are in the lake,
Fo the other option makes me shake.
From this twisted tale, unravel
A warning for you who enjoy travel-
When first entering a brand new place,
Trust your gut, don't rush, keep a calm pace,
And when in a new situation-
Beware of Tourist Information.
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