Making Friends With Elephants...

Right folks, be warned...there are a few blog entries coming. Sorry I've been slack over the last few days- they have been unexpectedly eventful! Who knew Phayao- a town I hadn't heard of until this week- would bring us such fun and games? But before I go into that craziness, let's go back to our wonderful day with the elephants...
   There are a fair few 'elephant-owner-for-a-day' type day trips around Chiang Mai, so it can be difficult to choose one that is ethically sound. But as soon as we arrived at Patara Elephant Farm, I knew that we had made the right choice. With Tuscany-esque forests on the surrounding distant hills, the lush, expansive surroundings made it immediately clear to me that the 30 elephants I saw dotted around were treated with love and respect. I almost felt like we were on the set of a Jurassic Park movie, seeing such majestic animals in idyllic surroundings! After donning some rather fetching brightly coloured 'mahout' (elephant owner) outfits, we had a pep talk from Pat, the owner of the family-run farm, explaining what we'd learn today. Such an impressive and funny guy! Today was not about just playing with the elephants, he insisted- you will be working hard, so that we don't have to!

   First up: we had to meet our new elephant friend that we'd be taking care of that day. After a brief demonstration on the basic commands, I was introduced to Chumpon, a 9 year-old female who I'd later found out was a bit of a rebel! Before I fed her the bananas and sugar cane in my hand, I had to make sure she liked me. 'Chumpon!' I shouted. She trumped back happily- I was accepted. Carefully, I approached her. 'Don!' I said, and she lifted her trunk so I could pop the food into her mouth. As my hand kept getting caught on her slurpy tongue (lmmm, nice!), I caught sight of her teeth- so WIDE! Probably the width of a human's whole set of teeth! 'Dit dit' ('good girl') I'd say, stroking her trunk, along with my 21-year-old Thai helper, Tana.
   Now came the hard work- we had to check if our elephants were healthy. Our helper, Jacks, used a ridiculously pregnant elephant to show us the key things to look out for. 23 months pregnant...and it showed! Because the baby's been in the womb so long, it's likely to be a boy, and apparently he could be born any second. Bet that'll be a relief to the mother! Anyway- off the point slightly. First, you make sure they're not depressed/angry/hormonal by their swinging tail and flapping ears. Second, you check the sides of an elephant's head for mud. If there is none, it means that the elephant was probably sleeping standing up, which is bad news! Third, you check the toenails to see if the elephant's been sweating; the only place that they sweat from. Pat wasn't kidding when he said it wasn't just playtime, I thought...and that was before I learned the fourth and final test. Dung inspection. There has to be at least six poops from the night before, it has to have the right amount of moisture, the right smell, the right taste (I'm KIDDING about the last one!) Random fact for you, in case you ever find yourself needing to determine the age of an elephant from its poo (hey, you never know, people...)- the smaller the poop's fibres, the younger the elephant. Just so you know.
   After all that, its time to give her a brush-over! 'Ma, ma' ('come, come') I told naughty Chumpon, taking her to a clear area, before commanding her to lay down so I could brush her down. Believe me, I have never seen such a look of happiness as in my elephant's eyes as she lay on her side and chewed on some nearby leaves! Then it was time for the fun part- BATH-TIME! Leading our elephants into the water, we chucked water from wooden baskets over our elephants, giving them yet another brush-over. It was actually quite hard work...the fun 'water-time' with the elephants would come later on in the day...more on that later! Our elephants were in their element, especially when they decided to give all of us a shower from their trunks! Such cheeky animals...I love it!
   After all this, we were bloody exhausted, but the day was far from over...we had to learn how to board our elephants, and ride them to a waterfall through the jungle! I chose the easier method of gently kicking the elephant's ankle so they raised it off the ground, then using the elephant's leg as a ladder to haul myself up on top, shuffling toward so I was just behind the ears. Patrick, the daredevil that he is, opted to get up via the elephant's trunk: holding onto the ears, one foot on the trunk, then the elephant does the rest, lifting you onto his head. So long as you leaned forward and back as you went up and down hill, riding Chumpon would have been fairly easy...had she not had an insatiable appetite! Every five minutes, she'd stop for a little snack to cure her hunger. 'Janna!' ('Don't do that!') I'd cry, 'bai!' ('go!'). But would she listen? Nah.

   By the time we trekked through some rocky terrain in the jungle, and after seeing the elephants eating constantly, we were all starving! Luckily, as we watched the elephants completely submerge themselves in the water, using their trunks as snorkels, our awesome 'mahout' helpers were preparing an extensive picnic lunch on palm-tree leaves. Fried chicken, coconut and sticky rice, fruit, mango cakes...it all went pretty quickly, and the leftovers went even quicker onto the elephant's prying trunks! The male pink-trunked elephant (the trademark of a Chiang Mai elephant) was particularly a greedy guts!

   As I went to find a toilet (which I'm sure you needed to know) I left our group watching the elephants frolic in the water. When I returned, Patrick, along with another guy in our group called Max, were in the water swimming with them! This all looked too much fun to miss out on, so I quickly stripped to my bathing suit and dived in. Little did I know how difficult it would be to a) get through the water, b) avoid the elephant's continual poops, and c) to balance on the beast's back! There were a few hairy moments when Patrick shouted 'Jen! Get up here!', as I was close to being squashed between two rolling elephants...but I eventually found my balance, the elephants stopped rolling, and I was able to enjoy a wallow with Chumpon.

   Running a little late, we took a short cut on the way back- on a main road! Pretty surreal to see cars driving alongside your elephants...even more surreal to see dozens of Thai children waving at you and shouting 'Hello!' from a passing school bus! Ironically, it was more jolty to ride the elephant on the concrete than it was in the jungle...elephant rides are obviously meant to be on rough terrain!
   Just when we'd returned back to the farm and I thought it was the end, Pat told us that there were four winners for the 'Elephant-Owner-For-A-Day' competition...the four ladies! The prize...a very special kiss! Expecting the mahouts to pucker up, feeling a little scared, we were told to close our eyes, turn around and hold our arms out. Then suddenly, I felt a weird sucking feeling on my arm- Chumpon gave me a kiss! Giggling from the ticklish feeling, I gave her a big hug, telling her 'dit dit' (though she hadn't been such a 'dit-dit' when I rode her!)

   So, all in all, a really fantastic day. Elephants have always been my favourite animals, with their intelligence, cheekiness and family orientation, and today just confirmed everything I love about them! I was so impressed with Pat as well; he loves those elephants with all his heart. He's had no deaths in his farm at all, and I fully believe he will make a significant difference to the future of these magnificent creatures through his breeding programme. Good luck, Pat!
   Next blog post...how an older couple asking us for directions in Phayao led to a night crazier than the Full Moon Party. Pictures from both of these blog posts to follow very very soon!

Bangkok in a New Light...

So after all that rain on the islands, surely we were due at least some sunshine? Well, Bangkok sure delivered on that front- and then some! From the moment we left the plane, it was steaming hot...this was more like it!
   We certainly saw a very different side to Bangkok than we had at New Year's...starting with the Four Seasons. I mean, how can you describe a hotel like that? Wow. Think I got a little too excited over the hotel sign...and that was even before we got to our room! All sorts of treats awaited us there...four types of tea! Armchairs! A writing desk! Free banana, free apple, free body lotion!...but no free wi-fi. Well, I guess there has to be a limit somewhere....stingy gits. It's OK, that free banana made up for it...

   To throw ourselves back into Bangkok-life, we dropped our bags and headed to Asia's largest market, the Chatuchak Weekend Market. With Bangkok's roads chock-a-block with colourful taxis, we opted for the very pleasurable Skytrain, rattling effortlessly above the city and its traffic jams. Cramped in with Thais and tourists, the air-conditioning was heavenly- the London Underground could learn a thing or two about customer comfort...
    The market was truly huge; it was difficult to know where to begin! Name a product, and it would have been sold at this market- shoes, clothes, jewellery, plants, inflatable travel pillows (I bought one!), bread buns with creepy faces on them, bubble guns, straw-weaved animals, papier-mached red pigs...the celebrity rubber mask stall was my favourite, with a guy wearing the 'Scream' mask and holding a microphone seated in front of it. God know what his sinister whisperings were...and how that would allure customers...
   All this shopping made us hungry and thirsty (for beer), so we stopped at a food stall: Colleen and Bob's first sampling of street food! We made a good choice with chicken soup: tender chicken, flavourful broth, all washed down nicely with a Chang. Now we were refreshed, the shopping could begin! The restaurant we'd been recommended by the Four Seasons had a fairly strict dress code; stricter than we'd anticipated (more on that later!). With his limited wardrobe, we needed to find Patrick some long trouser-pants (I'm giving them this name to save confusion: the 'trousers/pants' debate between Pat & I still rages on). This turned out to be an unexpected highlight, as we got to sample the 'Thai changing room'- basically a long green skirt that you change under! Patrick looked so pretty in that skirt, but my suggestion that he should wear that to dinner instead didn't go down too well...

   One final observation I have to make about Chatuchak- many stalls sold fresh fruit, sugar and chilli paste. Interesting mixture; apparently it's pretty tasty (Patrick's caddy in Ko Samui let him try some).
   After walking through the market in 32 degree heat, the Four Seasons pool was a gorgeous sight. One of the staff lay our towels on our sunbeds for us (beats having to race for a sunbed!) and the four of us just chilled there, dozing periodically, swimming once in a while...enjoying Changs while we did, of course.
   But now we get on to the interesting part of the evening...our meal on the State Hotel's 52nd floor. We'd  been told by the Four Seasons that the dress code was 'smart-casual'- no mention had been made about disallowing flip-flops, though in hindsight I should've seen that coming. We reach the hotel, where an immaculately lady very politely tells us that we couldn't enter while I was wearing my flip-flops. What to do- we were not within walking distance of the Four Seasons. Do we a) go back, or b) rush into the bustling Bangkok streets and pick up some random white rubber closed toed shoes from a non-English speaking Thai hawker lady? The latter, of course...these shoe stalls outside a mall were only 5 minutes from the hotel, but were a completely different world, where with limited English, hawkers bite the tips of their tongues in concentration- as I do also when I'm thinking hard- as they carefully write the price for you on paper. Re-entering the State Hotel's hallway triumphantly, we strode to the lifts...only for Colleen to be told that her backpack was not allowed upstairs. We finally got into the lift and upstairs, stepping onto a neon-pink runway...I was told off for taking photos here too, which was probably justified, seeing as I was holding people up.
   It may sound like it was a lot of effort to go to this place, but one look at the restaurant and the views of Bangkok made it all more than worth it. From our outside table, you could see the dazzling lights of Bangkok twinkling below, as the beautiful, curvaceous State Hotel towered above. Even my bag got special treatment, with a little padded seat to rest on. Before this moment, I had never before tried oysters, but for starter I was able to try those slippery, fishy treats with all sorts of sauces. Other starters: wasabi prawns, and deep-fried soft-shell crab. Probably the last crab we'll try on this trip...hence why Patrick also got crab for his main. I usually order a certain meal because I'm intrigued by the idea of it, and my almond-covered chicken stuffed with prawns was no different; I'm happy to say it lived up to my expectations, especially with the cranberry sauce. Bob's tenderloin beef was certainly tender, and Colleen's 'Chilean-fried' sea bass looked like french fries stuck into a fish, but had a lovely, subtle taste and crunchy texture. Dessert was just too exquisite for words...the dessert descriptions were a little long-winded, but I saw the words 'strawberry' and 'white chocolate' and I was sold...perfection with a glass of port. In between meals, we stood to get a better view of this vibrant city's skyline, watching the luminous boats glide along the river as the wind refreshed our faces. Thanks again for that meal, Bob and Colleen; I certainly won't forget that experience in a hurry.

So ladylike.

   As they were leaving the next day, we said our goodbyes to Colleen and Bob that evening, before a very long, deep sleep. The next day, with a late check-out time of 2pm (thanks to Bob, once again!), we squeezed every last moment of luxury out of the Four Seasons, before heading over to a slightly different place...yep, we returned to good old Kho San Road- and I even bought a bracelet from one of those village-hat-wooden frog hawkers that I said 'prey on the exceedingly drunk'! I don't think we could leave Bangkok without buying something from those ladies, without a little bargaining on sunglasses, and without drinking a 'very strong' Samsom bucket...

   We caught our bus to Chiang Mai that evening, which turned out to be pretty posh: screens on the backs on seats-(with 5 movies and heaps of music), sandwiches, Lays...unexpected, but nice! We're loving Chiang Mai so far- cheap accommodation, chilled-out city, good street food, especially 'kho soi' (curried noodle soup- a Northern Thai dish). We had an awesome elephant experience today, where we got to own an elephant for a day! Will be telling you all about that very, very soon..